Desperate Slumber
by Ashimaru-yfg
Summary: L finds that there have been some changes going on between him and Light subconsciously. LightxL and some slight LightxMastuda
1. Chapter 1

It had only been a few weeks Light had found himself chained to the world famous detective, L. Weeks of hard set accusations the younger male knew was complete and utter lies. Weeks of no space whatsoever, apart from each other, there were cameras peeking in closely into him like a subject under a microscope.

It was driving the young Yagami into madness before it all started to dull away, worn down to the norm of having only six feet of space from someone that looked like they had a deep seeded hatred for him. Dulled away with the sickening smell of sweets, random cream spills in odd places and of course long nights and painful days.

Light couldn't help but laugh weakly to himself with this revelation, coming out of the washroom in a pair of fresh boxers, seeing as L felt uncomfortable when the brunet walked in with nothing but a pair of towels. Light rubbed a small towel into his hair, trying to take away the water from his locks.

Having been used to being chained to a wall while he showered, a camera peeking into the small stall as he washed. It was rather shocking to find L giving him a dark look of determination placed on his face, Light expecting yet another drawl accusation from that look alone. That thought was taken widely aback when he did further inspection, the raven haired male holding a long, round throw pillow in his arms. It was of course velvet red, maybe three feet and slightly wide.

Light was at full extent of the chain that came from the wall, about to ask something before L walked over, a small tint changed in the older male's expression, holding it out.

"This is for you, Light," Ryuuzaki said rather quietly, shoving it into Light's bare chest, from that moment, the detective didn't meet eyes as he unlocked the chain from the wall and connected it with his. Light looked blankly to the throw pillow now in his arms, going to say something once again.

"I got it for you for a number of reasons," L said as he lead the brunet into their shared king sized bed, sitting down on it a little awkwardly, "I've noticed you often like to keep close contact if you find that you have a partner in your bed, Light," L said, looking down, the small tinge getting darker.

Light frowned as he went around the bed to go to his side, setting the throw pillow between them, sliding into the covers, setting the towel at the foot of their bed. He still felt confused with the detective.

"And even with his large bed, you seem to know subconsciously that I am on the other side and as rarely as I sleep, I have been sleeping lightly in your presence," L said firmly, his voice holding undertones of accusations Light hated so much. Ryuuzaki bit his tongue as he stripped his sweater from his leaner form, "I find it rather unpleasant for someone I find rather guilty of many murders to be- how they say, spooning me," The raven's face burned red as he made himself comfortable under the covers as well.

From this point, Light's head was almost in pain with this unusual information, his hand going to the throw pillow. He was biting his tongue as he tried to think of many things that had been going on while he had been in his subconscious state. Spooning L? That felt more than unheard of that anything. What about the morning? Shouldn't he have at least known something about having done that?

L seemed to have found it rather discouraging that the other male hadn't been making a single protest of accusing him of being the infamous Kira, twice in that last spoken words. He sighed softly as he looked to the throw pillow, "I had gotten that in hopes it would stop, maybe as a separator, or something for you to hold at night." L smiled a little weakly. His thumb had found its way into the grip of his teeth with the thought of Light holding the throw pillow, looking sweet and peaceful. Unlike what he really is, a cold blooded murder, that is.

The subject in mind had finally sunk into Light's mind before he glared to the other male, "Separator of course," Light spat as he ran his fingers up and down the velvet pillow, a small smile crossing his lips, "Of course I suppose having to use this would in fact be more comforting, seeing as it feels rather plush." he said as he laid back into his pillow. Yes, that held the implication that this heavy, slightly stiff throw pillow would be more soft compared to the detective's rather lightly build body, a little boney at some sights.

L couldn't help but feel a little jab at that, laying back as well, his chained hand going unnoticed over his chest, feeling his heart beat. He closed his eyes as he tried to ignore anything Light would say at this point, "It would be warmer too," Light added as he turned his body opposing his accuser. Ryuuzaki bit harder into his thumb, feeling the dull ache, he could feel the pattern of his thumb against his teeth and shut his eyes tighter

There had been a secret he had been keeping from the other male, of course he wouldn't tell.


	2. Chapter 2

L exhaled heavily as he opened his eyes, the small lights of dawn slowly seeping into the bedroom. It was only natural that L would sleep so little, even if he hated that this had been his greatest comfort of anything he might want to remember. He slowly pushed himself off the bed with one arm, a series of clicking bones followed his way up as he stretched his arms out and arched his back. His body seemed to fall forwards expectedly of his physical form, his eyes going to his bed partner.

Light was sleeping soundly, his hands on his abdomen, hair tussled nicely as his face was turned away from the older male. This image like every morning had accidentally been etched into L's mind, he held back a small sigh of disappointment, his thumb quickly replacing that small sound. The red velvet throw pillow had only moved exactly between them, if not a little closer to L; so it seemed Light hadn't used it, so what?

One of the now in the norm things that lost its irksomeness was Head Quarters. When Light had first came into this large empty place was that it was exactly that, empty. Empty and cold. Now they were empty, just that and it no longer bothered Light. The dark rooms seemed ominous and rather unpleasant, seeing as the focus was to be the 'justice' and take those who apposed the 'justice' down. The dark walls seemed to give nothing but relief from the blaring light of countless hours in front of monitors.

That was another thing, Light had been extremely willing and glad to help L research their way into finding this Kira, happy to do something. Positive to be of use, getting this case over his shoulders as soon as possible. That had gone to trash, after weeks of basically nothing, having gotten nothing had given nothing for effort.

There was one thing that Light enjoyed that had gone into the old routine.

"Light!" Matsuda chimed happily as he walked quickly across the wide space of Head Quarters, Light turned his chair around from the screen he had long lost interest in. He smiled as he saw Matsuda speed up once the older male acquired his attention, the burnet couldn't help but chuckle softly as the older male held a small brown bag high in the air.

"Good afternoon, Matsuda," Light greeted as he stood up, the officer sighed as he stood in front of the younger male, scratching his neck idly with his other hand, a small blush on his face.

Neither of them was very aware of what was now a very dark aura, L had been crouched in his chair, reading some graphs, he had once been stirring his sap thick coffee when he heard the now all too familiar cheer.

Apparently it was a nice thing to steal precious time taken to find Kira to have a mindless conversation and sip tea. It killed L's mood to no end, it wasn't great as well when he had to be dragged away from his work to be sat at the lounge area along with Light and Matsuda.

That was currently where all three of them had taken themselves, L sitting in a single chair, Light had taken Matsuda to the love seat. There was an odd sensation of contempt as he watched Watari prepare cups of tea for them with a small smile on his face, maybe he was in some sense against the detective as well.

"Light," Matsuda started with a small blush as he took the small bag into his hand, "I know you don't care for sweets and all," He said as he pulled out small plates of apple pie, holding one out for the younger male. The blush went deeper as his hand lightly brushed against the brunet, "I-I made it myself," He added weakly as he set his own piece down on the coffee table.

"Thank you, Matsuda," He said cheerfully, taking the pie, taking a small fork from the table. He was really amused and rather embarrassed that the older male would do such a nice thing for him. It tasted good too, light cinnamon and brown sugar, the sauce was thick and smooth, Light was impressed.

"Hmph, I have to wonder how much time you have on your hands, Matsuda," L said rather darkly as he looked to the delicious looking pie. The eldest male turned red, really having to admit to himself that he had a lot of time on his hands, biting his lip as he looked down to his lap, looking at the piece he would have given to L. Light glared to the detective

"Don't be so rude, Ryuuzaki, the time people spend to make the cakes that you often wake me in the middle of the night to get some, it's only fair that I get my piece," He smiled as he looked to Matsuda at the last part, "The effort wasn't put to waste," He reassured.

It was despicable how much Light seemed to take a shine to the other raven haired male, more so that Matsuda was doing nothing but soaking it up.

It was one of those now rare nights, the nights that wore out into almost never. L had taken his own time and had let Light sleep much earlier than him.

It was rather sad to know that L had fallen into the younger male's sleeping pattern for the past while, it meant that he was in comfort in the murder's presence, it also meant that Light was comfortable with L sleeping so close to him. That seemed a little painful to know that seeing as Light was comfortable in Ryuuzaki's presence even brought more easiness in sleep.

So here he stood in bed, looking down to the other male, much late in the night before he sighed, giving up. Stripping off his shirt, L opened the covers and slipped in, facing Light or at least the throw pillow that rested between them.

A small sigh escaped L's lips as he slowly woke, not really bothering to open his eyes. A small smiled crossed his lips as he felt something warm in his arms. A sad regret chilling over him as he indulged in his sick secret.

One of the reason he had gotten the throw pillow was to keep Light from sneaking to L's side of the bed. The other was to keep Ryuuzaki on his own side of the bed.

That smiled that crossed his lips quickly disappeared as L realized, it wasn't as it was. The warmth in his arms was in fact the very thing he had left between them, the throw pillow and not what Ryuuzaki had hoped it would be.

With a small whimper of shame, L slipped himself from the throw pillow, raising himself off the bed and looked down to it. Rumpled up and the colours distinguished from where he printed himself on. His eyes wondered to the other side of the bed, Light had his back once again to him. Going passed broad shoulders, Ryuuzaki had noticed the sun had yet to rise, so it didn't take long for L to find himself in this situation.

Thin, slow hands went to the throw pillow, straightening out, the warmth he had so easily given the still object clung to it, giving it back to L as he fixed it. Ryuuzaki bit his tongue as he pushed it closer to Light's side of the bed

His eyes once more going to the other male's wide back, watching it expand as he breathed in slowly, his hair messy with slumber


	3. Chapter 3

Today seemed different to Light, he wasn't exactly sure what it was, but he knew the main focus on this change was with the other male, L. He would have guessed today was like any other day in the life he was getting used to. Right now it surely wasn't, it seemed that the detective was distracted, or forcing himself on a distraction; his eyes barely looking to Light's. More so, it would have seemed that the older male was avoiding looking to the brunet completely, making no effort to turn to the younger as he spoke.

He felt unsettled, if there was anything the raven haired male wanted to say to Light, especially when it involved Light, it would have been straight forward with cold eye, tense body and stern voice. Any sound that was directed to Light was weak, eyes shakily averting from his. Light could only hope that the detective had made a mistake, an error in some way and trying to be too proud to come forward with it.

If L knew what Light was thinking in this darkly lit room, he would have hated knowing the younger male's assumption was right. He tried not to think of last night, his eyes darting from line to line of news reports, if he wasn't distracted with his own personal fault, he would have been able to notice there was a small break through in this news report.

If truth be told- which will never come to be, L had felt more disappointment in having clung to the throw pillow rather than having found out he clung to the throw pillow. His heart ached painfully, as it played with the idea of being next to Light while they slept.

He needed to deny this thought, this thought was not what he needed, the thoughts he needed would have to involve putting the chained individual behind bars. He needed to be disgusted with himself.

Light would have to say his current emotion was rather at uneasy, over the passing time the younger male had taken so much attention and persistence into having L be a little more courteous during his meals. This really told him something was wrong, seeing as the detective was going all out on his previous easting habits, which was a mess compared to now. Light cleared his throat softly, eyes cast down to the rice bowl he held in one hand.

"Ryuuzaki, I think those sweets might taste a little better if some of it when into your mouth," He suggested in a slight annoyance, his chopsticks setting down on the table. Even now, L's eyes weren't looking to the brunet, trying to cut a piece of his strawberry cheese cake. It was an eyesore for Light to see there was crumbs and filling around pursed lips.

"Perhaps whipping my face now would go in vain, as it seems this is only my second slice," L replied in a weak tone, looking down to his dessert. After so long, the urge to whip his face itched in his hand, trying really hard to fight it. If the detective had to deny himself of any comfort, he doubted it would be fair to keep on with Light's, maybe it was time to make efforts in severing this connection his subconscious was trying to grasp.

Light closed his eyes, clenching his jaw slightly, he hoped L was kidding. His bowl now followed his chopsticks, set on the table.

"It's an eyesore," He openly admitted, taking his napkin, maybe he needed to take the step he had taken before to change this little habit.

"It doesn't bother me," Ryuuzaki quickly replied, nails digging into the fabric of his jeans, it was going bother him if Light kept going on with it.

"It bothers me," His tone turned into a slight hiss, standing up to reach over to the other male, the napkin being thrust into the raven haired male's face. L inhaled quickly, turning his face away, leaning back. Finally after almost all day, the detective finally looked to Light.

"I'm sorry to inform you that your opinion doesn't matter," L spat back, his have raising up, pushing tense fist away from his face. His eyes met with the younger male, there was a sense of coldness and vacancy that the brunet could see, Light's hand falling down first. He felt aggravated with the older male's words, after all this time.

"I'm turning in for the night," He announced in spite, stepping back, the chain following in a slow motion, his hand turning back to catch it. L made no movements to go along with Light's words, the silence returned with the younger male pulling the metal taut with a second hand.

L figured this battle would come into more contact and having his eyes focused on the other, which he would decline both. His hand dropping the fork down to the plate with heavy clanks, there were small clicks of his joints as he got out of his chair. All the while, Light's eyes were on him, which made Ryuuzaki more aware of the mess on his face and the need to whip it off

Now that L was forced onto his laptop, he felt very unsettled, Light said he wanted to turn in early but at this moment, he was reading. From what he knew, turning in early, it meant that the younger male was planning on going to sleep, this wasn't the case, it seemed. The desire to point it out flown through him, but this meant having to exchange words and possibly make more conflict- between them and himself.

L sat, fingers tapping along the keys, trying to soak up as much information as he could, engross himself even more than the whole day. The pair were now in more close quarters and on even more intimate base, now sitting in bed, half dressed in night wear. He was thankful to himself that the throw pillow was still placed between them, the rumples he had smoothed out this morning showed no signs of having been touched. Or cuddled, but he needed to push that aside. The more important matter was that Misa wanted to go on a date, somewhere outside the head quarters

These little emails were persistent, and if they weren't put through text, a shrill voice would often follow. The desire to cut any sort of contact with Light would rise within him often, which he was sure had risen since the younger male's effort to make L's presence more tolerable. Thinking of it now, if he had to compare himself to what he was a year ago, this long term contact with the other had almost dramatically changed his presence, having been forced to be more aware of himself.

Would it hurt to revert back completely? He would have guessed not, but under the assumption that there would be any sort of discomfort between then, it would be all for the best. The less pleasant their encounter was, the better, he had the obligation of putting Light away for good for the actions that he had taken as Kira.

There was this feeling, the only way he could ever imagine it as was his heart falling and his stomach was trying to digest it into food. It really hurt and brought him nausea, making L feel as if his throat was closing in on him. His fingers itched before slamming the laptop shut.

"I'm turning in early." He hissed, placing it on the night stand, he needed to get away from these thoughts. He was at this moment 'too close' to Light right now, as if this bed was too intimate and calm for his inner turmoil.

Light closed his book, his finger holding the pages place, he gave the older male a curious look as he did feel slightly confused. Having been sleeping in this very bed for so long, it never failed, not even once that Light had always fallen asleep sooner than Ryuuzaki. The brunet actually felt sympathetic, seeing there was really pain that L was going through, but too modest to admit it.

This evening, during supper, Light had truly noticed the change in L, not just in table manners but he found that the boundaries that he had set between himself and L were returned. It seemed to go against him now, seeing as he once told L there are things better off unsaid, they weren't meant to be exchanged which were mostly emotions.

L really did go to sleep sooner than Light this late evening, having forced to go deep within his subconscious to grasp to set down for the night. Once again, the raising sun was blocked off from the inside world, heavy curtains shielding their sleeping eyes, which made either of them unaware of this sight that L once again beheld. The throw pillow that L had become in a sense dependent on had been set down to useless, pressed down between warm mattress and very fine waist. Ryuuzaki's body was where he least wanted, pressed up against Light's body, arm wrapped around heated limb.

There would have been many occasions when L had fallen asleep later and woken early. Light opened his eyes, discomforted from the warmth that his subconscious had tried to stray from with no avail, natural response would be to wake and move more freely. His mind was in sleepy fuzz, so was his hand he realized once h couldn't feel his fingers flex. Tired eyes turned to his side, which soon filled with confusion, his attention on L's sleeping form clinging to him so dearly.

Light was still painfully confused, but some of it came together with how pressing L was about getting the throw pillow between them. He couldn't help but smile softly, his other hand reaching over and held pale face, a warmth washing over him, perhaps pride followed along.


End file.
